it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize