i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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