I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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