Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
