i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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