I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
