PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We need to rekindle our bromance
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
