there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
