I wannas sexs uuuuu
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
