I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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