i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
