VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
