we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
