The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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