he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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