well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
