they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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