I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
