Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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