i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
