Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
And then he peed in my hair
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