You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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