You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
