Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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