Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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