My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize