i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
