writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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