Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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