i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
