either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
