I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
