we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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