Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
