My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
