i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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