just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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