I have demons in me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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