I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
