Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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