It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
