youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
