I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize