I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
