It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
