we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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