In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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