I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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