Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
