Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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