Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
