I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
