HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
