I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
