I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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