Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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