there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I could make wine with my vomit
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
