In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
