Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize