i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
