I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
