her vagine was all disorganized.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my poor anus
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
