You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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