So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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