i love accidental penises.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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